Insecurities

The physical scares you left will heal

For time heals all wounds

Or does it?

The emotional torment you caused my soul

Will last a lifetime

You cheated and you lied

With all of your unforgiving actions

Parts of my soul have died

I’ve moved on

And desperately want to love another fully

But you’ve stolen that from my life

I yearn to trust my lover

But I fear history will repeat itself

You’ve left me so scared that I can’t enjoy life

I can’t be happy since you damaged my soul

You’ve tarnished me

I want more than anything else in this world

To experience the joy of pure happiness

To experience it with my new love

My new life with him is

Something I’ve longed for forever

He’s all I’ve ever dreamed of

Someone who would do anything for me in a heartbeat

And is truly sorry if he hurts me

You were cold and enraged

You took so much from my soul

That those wounds will never in a lifetime heal

I only wish someone would do the same to ou

So you can feel the pain

the torment

the desires

And most of all

-the everlasting insecurities.

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Fighter

I'm kind of lost in my own thoughts of you

I can't believe what you did to me

Calling me a bitch because I speak what's on my mind

For you it's just a memory but for me it still lives on

It's not so easy to forget

All the years you violated me

What did I do to deserve this slow burn

I often wonder why I carry all this guilt

When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built

And it hurts my soul because I can't let go

All these walls are caving in

I can't stop my suffering

I hate to show that I've lost control

Because I keep going right back

To the one thing I need to walk away from

The bruises fade but the pain remains the same

And I still remember how you kept me so afraid

And every morning that I wake I look back at yesterday

And I'm okay

I am beautiful no matter what you say

Words can't bring me down

I am beautiful in every single way

So don't you bring me down today

I won't let you break me

I'm leaving today

Saying farewell to every single lie

And all the fears I've held too long inside

Turning down the memories of yesteryears

And broken dreams

But now I've found I'm feeling strong

And I'm moving on

I'm finally free

I never want to dwell on the pain again

There's no use in reliving how I hurt back then

Remembering too well the hell I felt when I was running out of faith

After all of the stealing and cheating

You probably think that I hold resentment for you

But you're wrong

Because if it wasn't for all that you did

I wouldn't know how capable I am to pull through

So I want to say thank you

Because it makes me that much stronger

Makes me work a little bit harder

It makes me that much wiser

So thanks in the end for making me a fighter.

So far untitled

I feel the silence down into the hollows of my soul

It helps me to find the me and makes me whole

At times it’s dark and scary there

It gives me a place within myself to share

There’s time I’m there that bother me so

But how else would I ever get to know

Sometimes it’s bright and full of love

It’s those times I feel the presence from above

I feel that deep need from my heart

I know that’s the only place for me to start

To heal myself from all those sorrows

And enjoy the up and coming tomorrows.

The Past Series Part I

You took my money

You took my heart

You took my pride

And that’s just a small start.

 

You abused me

You tormented me

You riciduled me

You threatened to kill me.

 

You stole my soul

You stole my pride

You stole my sense

You stole my emotions.

 

You ransacked my life

You damaged my being

You scarred my body

You killed my life.